Giant Squidward Rewrite
by Growlie
Summary: This is, pretty much, my rewrite for the episode Giant Squidward. With some parts that are similar while other parts are different. This rewrite will feature Squilliam, if you haven't already guessed Because, in actuality, I feel like the episode was a missed opportunity.
1. Chapter 1

It begins on a bright sunny day, and both Squidward, and his archrival Squilliam were once again competing with one another. This time, it involved growing kelp, with both of them using kelp grow spray bottles. Naturally, since Squilliam couldn't allow Squidward to get the better of him, used a fake label for his bottle. Covering up the fact that his, was ten times more powerful then what his rival was using. And while Squidward's kelp garden was impressive, Squilliam's over shadowed Squidward's by being taller in height, immediately declaring him the winner. "Better luck next time Squiddy!" 'laughs'

"Hold On A Second!" Squidward calls him out, without turning around, Squilliam simply smiled. "There's something Fishy Going on Here!" Then turning to face Squidward, Squilliam crosses his arms, still holding the spray bottle. "Yeah, I Demand A Rematch!"

"Why? So you can Lose Again?" Squilliam laughs while Squidward was glaring at him, but then his eye caught something and peered closer at his rival's kelp bottle and notices what looked to be the edges of a sticker. "Say, what do you call that?" Squidward said pointing at the bottle which, Squilliam just shrugged but, quickly covers the sticker with his hand. "Give Me That!" Already suspecting foul play, Squidward tries to snatch the grow juice out of his rival's tentacles. "No! It's Mine!" Squilliam whined as both cephalopods got into a tug-of-war fight over the spray bottle. "Give It!"

"No!" In the mists of their struggles, Squilliam accidentally sprayed his rival in his face, causing Squidward's nose to grow huge and drag on the ground which broke up the tug-of-war. "Ah! My Nose!" Picking himself up off the ground, Squilliam took one look at Squidward, then burst out laughing at just how ridiculous he looked. "Congratulations Squiddy! You're Bound To Win A Prize For This!" The octopus laughed, lifting Squidward's outstretched nose up over his head as he growls and snatched it back. "Okay! Now that You've had your Fun! Howbout You Fix This?!" Squidward demands Squilliam, pointing at his over-sized nose. "Why? It's a good look for you Squid-..."

"Fix It!"

"And...just how am I suppose to do that? It's not shrinking spray!" Squilliam mused, trying to keep from laughing while he studied his rival. "Howbout If I try this?" Squilliam then sprayed Squidward's face again, which caused his head to grow larger, sorta evening out his large nose a bit. "How's That? You're A Bobble Head Now!"

'clears throat' "Alright! But What About The Rest Of Me?" The frustrated cephalopod yelled, holding his over-sized head as Squilliam sprayed his shoulders and his arms, laughing as Squidward's body stratches. "I've got a feeling you're enjoying this way to much." Squidward groans while he glared down at Squilliam. "Well..what else do you expect me to do?" And as Squidward kept getting sprayed, he not only doubled in height, but by the end of it he was pretty much deformed. Which amused Squilliam greatly, as he was becoming sore from so much laughter. Squidward glared at him as he was pointing. "You Should Enter Yourself In The Next Art Exhibit! You're Sure To Win!"

"I bet you wouldn't be laughing If You Looked Like This!" But then, Squidward's stomach rumbles, which causes him to squirts ink. Squilliam stopped laughing at this point and squeezed his nose. 'nasally' "Oh-Squidward!"

"Well, Excuse Me!" However, as his stomach continues rumbling, he begins to grow more. All amusement evaporated the very moment that his rival, Squidward Tentacles, begun to increase in height. Squilliam's eyes follow as the cashier grew and grew and grew... churning his neck, tilting his head back till it could go no farther... all the way towards the sky, briefly glancing at his kelp grow bottle with big round amber eyes while retreating slowly as the shadow of his rival engulfed him. Squilliam clutches the spray bottle, tentacles shaking when understanding the mistake he's seemed to have caused with his previous fun. Eventually the cashier's height increase had halted, ink cloud vinishing, revealing to the wealthy octopus a now... slightly normal looking Squidward... normal due to no longer looking like a deformed freak. Though that was sorta fixed, the cashier now towered over Squilliam Fancyson, he stared down at himself, baffled before bellowing out. "Great Neptune!" Squilliam retreats a few more steps at his rival's booming voice. "What Did You DO!?" Squidward's voice rumbled across Bikini Bottom like thunder. Squilliam was asking himself the same exact question, in reverse. 'Ye-yeah...wha-... Gulp ...-what Have I done?' Giving his rival, a hardened stare. 'This stuff, Really Is Strong!' Tentacles shaking, curling in fists, Squidward growled. "SquiLLLLIAM!" Startled, and openly showcasing it, the rich octopus bore the giant probably the sheepish toothy grin one could plaster onto their face. "Hehehe...Er...And he had that guilty, caught in the act-type laugh to go along with it. ...Oops."

Squidward seemed to deflate, his arms slowly drop down at his sides. Only for half a minute, as he suddenly exploded on the smaller octopus. "That's IT!?" Tentacles latching out over his head. "That's ALL You Have to Say Is OOPs!? W-what do you mean by saying, oops just now?" Nearby, boulders crumble away from the volume. "At the current moment, I have nothing productive to say... Briefly distracting Squilliam. ...I will say however, that this stuff...Squidward squirts his eyes, barely able to see the spray bottle in his rival's hand. ...Is Really potent! Not only for Plants, but for anything! I could use it for my gar-..."

"Like you did Me?" The millionaire fell over as the giant cashier collapsed onto his knees, looming over the other. "D-don't Look At Me Like That!" Not wanting him to see hints of intimidation, Squilliam lidded his eyes halfway while picking himself back up as Squidward's clearing his throat and placing his tentacles on his hips. "You demanded Me To Fix It And...I Have!" Squilliam begins snickering under his breath as he dusts off his robe. "Although, I don't know what you expected, did I not inform you that my kelp grow was Not for shrinking?" Glancing at the kelp grow bottle, Squidward was reminded of wanting to snatch it away from the snob's grip. "Anywho, it can't be all That bad! Now you Can Star In Your Own Movie Squiddy! You Can Be A Giant Lumbering Monster-...!"

'Echoing' "I DON'T WANT TO BE A GIANT LUMBERING MONSTER!" Squidward roared in his frustration, causing a short seaquake to erupt. At this point, the wealthy octopus decided this would be the perfect opportunity to leave, he could feel the weight of Squidward's glaring stare. Avoiding eye-contact deliberately to check his watch. "Oh Shrimp! Will you Look at the Time! I-I really Must be Going!" Squilliam exclaimed, attempting to mask his nervousness with cheeriness when turning his back on the giant octopus hoping he'd be able to actually get out while he could so to discard the kelp grow so Squidward wouldn't find out how he really had won the contest. Squilliam didn't get his chance, a enormous tentacle slams down, blocking his way. "Oh, no you Don't!" Ungracefully stumbling back, he fell for a second time. Getting his barings, he turns to face his snarky rival. "You're not getting away that Easily."

"Wha-What the Barnacles, Squiddy?! Are you Trying to-..."

"Enough Games, Fancyson!" Ignoring him, Squidward curls said tentacle around the small millionaire, preventing any escape attempts. "You've something you're Trying to Hide from Me!" For possibly the first time since their rivalry started, Squilliam was intimidated. He had grown so use to being the intimidator, one-upping Squidward and always coming out on top. Now, it was Squidward who came out on top. All because he had too much fun with his growth spray. The rich octopus backs up, colliding with... Squilliam spun around to purple flesh and pot-hole sized suction-cups... swallowing, he turns to face Squidward again as his nazeltone voice rumbles. "And I Will find out what it is!" The cashier snatches him, holding him firmly as he panics. "F-F-Fishp-paste Squiddy!" The cashier bore a smirk while lifting his squirming rival up towards his face. "Wha-what are you Doing?!" Squilliam stammered, struggling in Squidward's grasp, beginning to fully understand the other's claustrophobia. "Put Me Dooooown!" Immediately Squilliam went into a fit. "Squidward! Put Me Down!"

Squilliam took note of how Squidward's eyes had narrowed. "Not having as much fun now, are ya?" It was then his turn for amusement as he bore a devious smirk of his own... almost mirroring Squilliam's... while watching Squilliam trying to pry himself free. "It appears have the Upper Hand now, thanks to you!" He certainly had That part correct! 'I shouldn't have got Carried Away!' Squilliam thought with a low groan, discomfort due to tightly clutching that spray bottle, unable to adjust or loosen the grip he had on it. Squidward's had, too firm a grip for him to do anything involving letting go of the bottle. 'The Incident with his Nose should've been where I Stopped!' The millionaire tries loosing his grip on the kelp grow, as it caused abit of pain. "Squid-ddy I..Demand that you Un-Hand Me This Instant!" He growled though gritted teeth, intimidation wasn't in his favor though. "HAHa!" Just as he expected, the snarky giant's response was mocking laughter. One of which, had his mouth wide open, the sheer sight of Squidward's huge glistening white molars made Squilliam cringe. 'Echoing' "AHN-AHN-AHN-AHN-AHN!" If ever, there was a time he wanted to cover his ears, this would've been it. "Are you Really Trying to Intimidate Me? Ahn-Ahn!"

However while he's laughing, his grip begun loosing so Squilliam wasted no time in freeing himself. "Yeah, yeah enjoy it while you can Squiddy! I'm sure your growth spurt, will eventually wear off soon!" The wealthy millionaire simply replied with a smug tone of voice, disguising his uneasiness although well aware of just how small he was compared to Squidward. Unintentionally showing his empty bottle of kelp grow to his rival when sticking it underneath his arm to massage his throbbing hand. "After all, while you may be big, '...which more then likely will wear off soon!...' I'll still be the Winner Squiddy! While you 'laughs' you'll still be the Loser!" Squilliam carried on laughing, pounding his one little fist on Squidward's huge thumb once he's done massaging his hand, all while the giant octopus frowned at him. "Bu..but you know, it's not to late to take that offer!" Squilliam finished laughing and wipes a tear from his eye. "You can still play as a giant lumbering monster in the next movie! I'll pay to see that-...!"

"Great, you go and do that then, and when you do, why not Pay Me as well sin...Oh wait..you should Pay Me Now! Considering it was You Who Did This To Me After All!" The wealthy octopus leans back abit as Squidward raised the volume of his voice slightly, but gave a nervous smile. "I'll wait for the movie Squid-..."

"There's Not going to Be a movie! At least, Not With Me being a Monster!" Squilliam really had to hold on when Squidward raised his voice this time which, felt like winds from a tornado. During this, the sticker he had used to cover up the label on his bottle, was peeled off. And the millionaire hadn't had enough time to hide the bottle's lable, as Squidward had already caught it, and Squilliam let out a nervous little chuckle while his glare deepens. He was in for it now. "They...just don't Stick like they should-..."

"Actually, mine Sticks just fine!" Squidward give a smug, but calm, reply to his nervous rival. Who now felt somewhat Intimidated by Squidward, reminded of how small he was in his grasp. "I don't understand how you would have that problem..unless-... Especially when Squidward had paused in mid-speech. -...Unless you, Oh I don't know..Cheated After All!" Squilliam cringed, shrinking back as Squidward shouted, causing the ocean to rumble again. "Still gonna call me a loser?" Although he had expected Squidward to be angrier, he found it surprisingly weird that he was smiling which unnerved him to the smallest degree. Of course, Squidward's supposed satisfaction, quickly switched to confusion when his rival remained silent. "What this? No Comeback? No Witty Retort? Nothing?" His rival's drawn out silence baffled Squidward, especially when he's suddenly surround by an angry mob with torches, which was pretty much the whole town. All of them yelling treats at him while holding their torches, up until one of them, a young fish, stepped through the crowd. "Wait! Maybe he's a nice monster, like in my story book." Their torches immediately burn out. "Oh right, I haven't thought of that. Well, are you?"

It was at this point that Squilliam was finally able to speak again, and he let out a good-humored laugh while he leans over Squidward's fist.  
"Of course he is! Squiddy Is a nice giant!" Squilliam cocked his unibrow, giving Squidward a deviously little smirk. "He's not even sore at me for beating him with my impressive kelp garden! Right Squiddy?" The rich octopus chuckled as he then pinched the very corner of his rival's lip, however Squidward pulls him away. 'Echoing' "IT'S ONLY BECAUSE YOU CHEATED!" Squidward roared again, unleashing his full wealth on the startled millionaire. The citizens of Bikini Bottom all gasped. "Hey!"

"Why, that's not very nice at all!"

"Take him down, boys!" Yelling, they brought out a catapult with a rake attached and slam it on Squidward's foot. 'Echoing' "OOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWwwwwwwwwwww!" Bellowing, Squidward seized hold of his foot and begins hoping backwards. "Squidward You Better Not Drop Me!" Squilliam shouted, holding on to nothing but loose skin as Squidward was hoping backwards, the giant octopus then stepped on a large boat which threw off his balance. "TIIIIIIIIIIIIIIMBLES!" The wealthy octopus yelled as Squidward fell, making the entirely of Bikini Bottom shake from the force of his body hitting the ground. Squilliam tumbled out onto the street as his rival's tentacle drops and uncurled, Squidward moans while Squilliam pulls himself up. "OOoh! My Back!" Slowly sitting himself upwards, the giant cashier rubbed his head. "Oh Squidward! Look at what you did to my robe!" Glancing down at Squilliam, Squidward just frowned. "You've Done Wrinkled It!"

"What are you whining about? You've got a closet full of them!" It was then Squilliam's turn to frown while Squidward was trying to see behind his back. "I 'groans' is there something on my back?" Snickering under his breath, Squilliam held back his laughter, frustrating Squidward again. "Ooh nooooo Squiddy! Just lots of Roadrash!" The wealthy octopus bursts out laughing, until he heard Squidward growl under his breath and went quiet again. And by this time the citizens of Bikini Bottom approach and surround Squilliam, more frustrated then ever Squidward just stood up. "Monster!"

"Kick him!"

"Let's get him and make back bacon!" The angry citizens shouted threats as Squidward towers over them. "Scoop out his..eyeballs and use 'em as..giant..misshapen soccer balls!"

"You're not nice! You're just a big meanie!" His eyes then focus on the same little fish as before. "Big words kid!" Squidward grumbled, putting his tentacles on his hips as they continued on. "But alright! I see how it is!" Then waving his hand, Squidward turns away and begins to walk away. "I may be bigger, but I'm not a monster!" The giant octopus mumbled as he left the town, with his arms down by his sides while the group of fish were still yelling and calling him a monster. Only to cut off when one of the fish interrupted them. "Hey? Where's Squilliam?" It was then that they realized that Squilliam was indeed gone, making them all begin muttering amoug themselves. "Where Is He?"

"Where did he go?"

"I don't know!" As they were all mummering, Squilliam was already gone. Having slipped away while they have been yelling at Squidward, simply wanting to avoid any kind of questions they could've asked him. He then paused and glance at his empty bottle of spray juice before he let out a deep sigh and, as he's passing by a thashbin, just discards it.


	2. Chapter 2

The sea floor rumbled as the giant cephalopod walked along, partly angry with the events that had taken place, with the minority of being directed at Squilliam for the simple fact that he had cheated, then made him what he was now. The other half of his anger, was being directed at the Bikini Bottomites to. Although, Squidward wasn't having a very good day anyway. "Stupid Squilliam! He should consider himself Lucky, Lucky that I'm a nic-!"

"YeeeeeeeeHawww!" Squidward was interrupted in mid-sentence, when he heard the faint sounds of screams, and excited hollering. Curious, Squidward followed it and eventually found his two neighbors, SpongeBob and Patrick, sand-sledding with their squirrel friend Sandy. "Ya Fellows Can't Catch Me Now! Ah Way Ahead Of Ya!" Sandy yelled while she glanced back at the yellow sponge, and pink starfish behind her. "Oh Yeah!" SpongeBob thrust himself forwards to catch up with Sandy, sledding down the mountain really fast. So fast that he loses control and flew right off the mountain. "SpongeBob!"

"Oh no, Not Again!" Squidward quickly hurried towards SpongeBob as he begins to fall, all while Sandy was yelling. "Remember Spongebob, land on your bottom! It'll cushion the impact of-" She then paused when she felt the ground beneath her feet rumbling, and was quite surprised when she took notice of Squidward, who quickly stopped just a foot away from the surprise Squirrel. The giant octopus caught the little yellow sponge in his hand, cushioning his landing in which SpongeBob beamed as he leapt up excitedly. [gasp] "Great Catch Squidward!" Squidward simply wore a frown as SpongeBob was bobbing up and down in his hand. "Wow Squidward! You're so big!"

"Regrettably!"

"And your nose is even bigger to!" The yellow sponge said as he leapt up on his neighbor's large drooping nose. "And what big Eyes you have to!"

"Which makes It all the more painful to see you with! Now get off my nose SpongeBob!" Squidward said, while doing his best to keep from raising the volume of his voice. Meanwhile SpongeBob slid down his nose and back into Squidward's hand. "So Squidward, what happened to Squilliam? Did you win?" The giant cephalopod got down to his knees. "No SpongeBob, I didn't! As a matter of fact-" He then lowers SpongeBob to the ground. "He's the one who made me so big to begin with." The yellow sponge jumps down from Squidward's hand and was greeted by Sandy and Patrick. "Thank goodness you didn't get hurt again SpongeBob!" Sandy said as she lifts her head up at Squidward. "That's some mighty good timing there Squidward!"

"There's a first time for everything."  
"Hey Squid, how did get so big?"  
"Yeah, how did this Squilliam-guy make you giant anyway?"  
"He sprayed me with that grow juice you use for your kelp gardens."

"Aw well, don't worry Squidward, I'm sure It'll wore off soon. Nothing is ever permanent." Squidward took a deep breath. "I hope so." Squidward spent abit of time with his neighbors, watching them fool around while he spoke with Sandy some before he left them to be alone in his thoughts. Wanting to avoid the town people Squidward decided to go somewhere near Jellyfish Fields where he simply set down, thankful that the jellyfish didn't bother him. Though after awhile, his stomach begins rumbling, which raises a question for the giant octopus, what was he suppose to eat? For the longest time, Squidward just set there pondering this, the rumbling in his stomach didn't make it any easiler for him either. So lost in thought, Squidward was then startled when he heard the familiar voice of his next door neighbor and glance down. "Heeeey, Squiiiiidward? Can You Hear Me From There?"

"Unfortunately!" Squidward grumbled under his breath, which was expectly ignored by SpongeBob. "We were just finishing our sand-sledding game when I heard your stomach growling!" The giant cephalopod let out a heavy sigh, he became alittle bit startled when he felt something crawling onto his knee, only to realize that it was just SpongeBob climbing up onto his knee. "I guess you're hungry, huh Squidward?"

"Yes, I am. Don't know what I'm gonna eat though, me being giant and all Thank You Squilliam! And I can't just go home and eat, I had some leftovers I Was gonna eat!" SpongeBob listened to his neighbor's complaints very curiously, before he quickly brightened. "Hey I know, howbout we go to the Krusty Krab and we'll have Krabby Patties!" "No!"  
"Aw, come on Squidward, you haven't had one for a long time!"

"And you know why!"  
The yellow sponge then gave a shy little smile. "Yeah, I admit you got carried away-"  
"I blew up!"  
SpongeBob then laughed as he remembered, Squidward groaned. "You're having a flashback, aren't you?"

"Eeyup!"

Squidward eats a bunch of Krabby Patties in all sorts of ways, even a dozen at a time. "Squidward! How many are you eating? Squidward!" Squidward keeps eating all the Krabby Patties in the vault. "Squidward, you can't eat all those patties at one time! Squidward!"

"What's gonna happen? Am I gonna blow up?"  
"No, worse, it'll go right to your thighs!"  
"My thighs?"  
"And then you'll blow up." Krusty Krab explodes. Squidward's head is sitting on the ambulance's bench while his legs are in a bucket.

SpongeBob continues laughing as the flashback ends. "That shouldn't be a problem now, your stomach is big enough to hold all the Krabby Patties." Squidward rolls his eyes. "Besides, Krabs wanted me to get rid of the leftover Krabby Patties in the Patty Vault, and I don't want to just throw them out!"

'sigh' "Fine! I'll eat the Krabby Patties for you! Suppose I shouldn't complain about free food anyway." He frowned when he caught SpongeBob's happy face. "Alllllllriiiiight! Krusty Krab here we Come!" Allowing SpongeBob to jump in his hand, Squidward got up and made his way towards the Krusty Krab, doing his best to tune out his neighbor's chatter. Upon reaching the Krusty Krab, Squidward set the yellow sponge down as the red crustacean came out. "Hey!"

"SpongeBoy Me Bob! How is me best fry-" It was then that the crustacean took notice of Squidward, and was instantly surprised. "Squidward! What In The blue blazes happened to you?" Squidward grunted. "I rather not talk about it right now!" While Squidward was talking to his boss, SpongeBob hurried inside the Krusty Krab, "On a side note, I won't be able to work here until I'm back to my normal size." SpongeBob came back out of the restaurant with a wagon full of Krusty Patties, parking it by the doors, the yellow sponge went back inside a second time. "But, why can't ya?"

"Do you really expect me to be able to take orders like this?" SpongeBob comes back out of the restaurant again, pulling a second wagon behind him. Parking it right next to the other wagon, he hurried back inside for a third time. "I'm sure we could make it work." The crustacean gave Squidward his trademark pirate laugh as the giant cephalopod crosses his arms. "Yeah, but then all your money get wrinkled or crushed!" This got attention and instantly he stops laughing. "Ah huh." Smiling, Squidward nods his head and chuckles. "Well, I guess I'm taking off then! You'll just have to find somebody to fill in until I'm back" The yellow sponge came back out as he let out a sigh, parking another wagon, SpongeBob paused as approached him. "Say, what are ya doing with those wagons me boy?"

"I'm clearing out the left-over Krabby Patties sir. Squidward said he'd eat them for me."  
"Oh, he did?"

"That's right! Squidward's pretty hungry." Right on cue, the cephalopod's stomach grumbled, catching their attention. "Don't worry Squidward, I already got some out for you!" SpongeBob pulled the wagons over to the giant octopus, he felt sorta childish when scooping up the small wagons. But just shrugs it off and drumps the Krabby Patties on his tongue, eventhough they were tiny, his tastebuds still picked up that same flavor as before. And Squidward was soon reminded of how much he loved Krabby Patties. When the yellow sponge brought out the next batch, the eagered octopus had to be sure not to pick up SpongeBob as he scoops up the wagons. "Wow Squidward! I had no idea you even liked Krabby Patties!" Dumping the burgers into his mouth, Squidward smiled as he took in the flavor before swallowing. 'laugh' "Are you kidding? I Love Krabby Patties!" Squidward raised his voice, some of the Bikini Bottomites passing by, stopped and stared at the giant cephalopod, who then jumps up and went over to the Krusty Krab. "I Can't Wait Anylonger!" Laughing, Squidward keels over the Krusty Krab and, forcing his way in, pulls out the entire Krabby Patty Vault. Krab's arms instantly popped off. "Great Neptune!"

The sea-floor rumbled as he placed the huge metal box down on the ground, then tearing off the top, Squidward drove in and scoops up the burgers and eat them happily. And seeing his boss's arms laying on the ground, the yellow sponge smiled shyly as 's eyes shift his direction. "Uh, I can explain sir." Well, as SpongeBob was busy explaining this to his boss, the Bikini Bottomers begun to get angry while watching Squidward feast on the Krabby Patties. "Hey! He's eating all our Krabby Patties!"

"Yeah!"  
"How Selfish!"  
"Where's our Share?"  
"I Say This Giant Monster Needs Another Lesson!"

"Yeah! Let's Get Him!" Taking out their torches from before, the citizens of Bikini Bottom charge after Squidward again who, was now down to the last batch of Krabby Patties, quickly sprung up when he saw them. At the sametime SpongeBob turns around and waved his arms as they passed him. "Wait! Wait Squidward's Just Helping Me Clean Out The Patty Vaul-" The Bikini Bottomers ignored the yellow sponge as he's exclaiming, Squidward Immediately fled as they chased after him, easily out-running them and forcing them to give up. "No Monster Is Gonna Eat Our Krabby Patties!"

"Mon-Monster?!" The red crustacean ran up to the crowd of fish, shaking his claw at them angrily. "My employee Is No Monster! He was doing me the favor and getting rid of the leftovers!"

"And I myself had asked him to help me earlier!" SpongeBob joins in with the crustacean. "Otherwise I would've been forced to throw them out! Besides that, he was hung-" Casting a glance at his employee, he put a claw on his shoulders. "Nevermind them me boy, let's just go and find Squidward." SpongeBob nodded in agreement. "You're right sir." Ignoring the mummering in the crowd, SpongeBob and Krabs hurried after Squidward as he's sadly wondering off. "What will It take for me to prove to these people I'm not a Monster?" Taking a moment to pause, Squidward glanced back over his shoulder. "Hopefully It'll wore off, just like Squilliam said-'sigh'-speaking of Squilliam, where did he go off to anyway?"

Half An Hour Later...

As he was coming back from the drycleaners, Squilliam caught sight of Squidward keeling over his house which, had a giant bear trap around it. And one touch forced the trap to slam shut on his house, in which the huge cephalopod let out a heavy sigh and walked away. "Well Squidward, I guess this is your new life." Squidward said, depressed, walking away with his head down, Squilliam decides to follow him. Although Squidward's large size made it more like a hike for the wealthy octopus, by the time he caught up with Squidward he was pretty much out of breath and had to stop for a few minutes. Meanwhile, he finds Squidward sinking down between a few mountains. "And this is your new bed." The giant octopus then lays down, but finds it hard to get comfortable. "Heeey! Squiiiidwarrd!"

"Wha-?" Raising up, Squidward looks around. "Down Here Squiddy!" Glancing downwards, Squidward frowned and crossed his arms. "Sucks Being So Big, Eh, Squid-"

"You've got alot of Nerve saying that to Me! Considering It was you who did-!"

"Well, I expected It to have worn off by now!"

"You have terrible judgement! And now, I have To Sleep Out Here Until It Does!" Angry again, Squidward raises his voice, which rumbled loudly and caused an avalanche of sand to bury Squilliam. Rolling his eyes, the giant cephalopod had to dug him out while he was complaining, which was muffled under the mound of sand. "What are you complaining about?"

"You Buried Me! Got Sand In My Unibrow! As Well As My Robe!"  
"Oh, You'll Live!"

"I just got It back from the Drycleaners-!" Squilliam's rant was interrupted when Squidward grabs hold of him again. "H-Hey! Squidward!" The cephalopod complained more while trying to pry himself free. "Will you put me Down!" Squidward ignored him, part of him liked watching his archrival squirm as he held him, It was amusing for him. "Sucks being so small, eh, Squil?" Squilliam paused in his struggle and shot a glare at Squidward. "Oh, sure! Just take exactly what I said, and turn it around-"

"Well Squil, you do the exact samething to, so you're not innocent either." Squilliam just grumbled as he attempts to pry himself loose from Squidward's grip. "Just, put me down already! You keep wrinkling my robe when you-"

"I'm wrinkling up your robe? You're doing that yourself. Here's an idea Squilliam, don't struggle so much then perhaps It won't get like that!" Squidward's remark annoyed Squilliam, he was at least relieved that he had not turned up the volume this time. "And, what's your hurry anyway? I'm pretty sure you followed me here just for your own amusement-right? Squilliam CheaterSon!" The wealthy cephalopod lowers his unibrow and crossed his arms. Oh yes! I went there!"

"So we're back to th-"

"Yes We Are!" Squilliam slightly cringed as Squidward begins to raised his voice. "Now, now Squiddy, no need to get all frustrated-" Squilliam said cautiously as Squidward had a look of scorn on his face. "Frustrated? Frustrated!" Squidward growls while The wealthy octopus slowly ducks down, smiling nervously. "Take some time to simmer down."

"Don't tell Me to Simmer down! I'll Simmer down when I'm good and ready!" The slightly nervous octopus remained quiet while Squidward slowly begins to do exactly what Squilliam had suggested him to do. "S-so are you-good now?" Squidward didn't reply, his body language answered that for Squilliam. "Squiddy? Can you put me down now?"

"Why? You got somewhere you need to be?"  
"I just prefer to have my feet on the ground-"

"Alright, fine! I just need to make my bed first!" In response, Squilliam scoffs. "Bed? What bed?"

"This bed, right here! The one with all the sand!" The cephalopod made an attempt not to laugh. "You're easily amused."

"This looks nothing like a be-"  
"I've got to make do with what I got! Beside, haven't you gone camping before Squill?"

"Ha! Me? Camping? Why sleep outside when I can sleep in the lap of luxury? Squidward patted down most of the sand, while leaving the rest as a small mound against a large rock. "You know, I could be in the comfort of my own home right now, sleeping in my own comfortable warm bed. Instead I'm stuck out here-"

"Don't blame me Squid-"

"Oh, I blllame you!" The giant octopus shot a quick little glare at Squilliam, making him sink back down again. With a deep sigh, Squidward placed him back down on the ground again, where he took sometime to straighten his robe. "Well, enjoy your little camp-out Squiddy! I'll just be going back to my nice, warm, luxurious home sipping nice Ice cold te-"

'Echoing' "Alright! I Get It! You've Rubbed It In Enough, Just Go!" Squilliam flinched as Squidward raised his voice and braced for another avalanche, letting out a sigh of relief when one didn't happen. "See you Tomorrow!" [laughs] Ignoring his archenemy, Squidward scoffs, lays down, then crosses his arms. ' "Yeah, I hope you get Mauled by a Sea-Bear!' Still straightening his robe, Squilliam smirks deviously while glancing back at his giant enemy. ' "Sucks to be you Squiddy!' Squilliam chuckled while he left Squidward and heads towards home, just then, a sudden rustling sound brought him to a halt. The wealthy octopus glanced around, feeling, abit nervous. "Squidward?" The rustling continues while Squilliam waited for the ground to start rumbling, and his nervousness grew when the earth remained still. "Squiddy?" Squidward was close to falling asleep, before a sudden shriek caused him to jump, his drowsiness forgotten when he recognized it as his archrival's. Quickly Squidward got up and, in only three steps, he was stunned when seeing Squilliam running while a wild Sea-bear was chasing after him. 'Fishpaste! I wasn't Serious!' Squilliam ran, but then trips and fell. As the Sea-bear drew closer he quickly curls into a shivering ball, cowering as it let out a threatening growl. "Hey You!" However, it just grew quiet when a low rumbling was then heard, which was followed by a familiar voice. "Remember Me?" Upon opening his eyes, Squilliam was quite amazed to see Squidward leaning overtop of him, blocking the Sea-bear's way with his fist. Instantly it made a startled groan and swam away, fast, Squidward grinned happily. Still abit shaky, Squilliam raised himself up, at the sametime he's scooped up by Squidward. "Attracting unwanted attention eh?"

"Squid-Thank you! I-I owe you-" Squidward simply shrugged. "Yes, you certainly do. So don't forget it!" He said, slightly turning his head to watch his archenemy adjust. "Trust me Squiddy, all of this is gonna be hard for me to forget."

"You see I'm a nice guy Squilliam. So consider yourself lucky that I helped you at all."

"Well, thanks." The giant octopus gave Squilliam alittle smile. "Don't mention it. But I will still have my payback, just you wait, In the meantime It's getting late. I suppose you better be getting home, eh?" Squilliam nods, waiting for his archrival to set him down. "Yes, time files when you're having fun-" Squidward slowly shook his head as he carried his archrival in his tentacle hand. "Say Squiddy? Where are you taking me?" Squilliam asked curiously, figuring out that Squidward wasn't just sending him off like before. "What do you think?" The cephalopod's eyes gleam. 'chuckles' "Squidward, are you giving me my own personal escort?"

"What does it look like to you?"

"Well-" The wealthy octopus replied, content as he leans his back against the giant cephalopod's tentacle. "This is much better-"

"Hey, don't get to comfortable! What do you think this is?" Amused, Squilliam laughed. "I just like this, mode of transportion, better-"

"You're spoiled Squil, end of story!" Squidward's remark made Squilliam chuckle light-heartedly and cross two of his legs over the others. "Such a pretty night, eh Squiddy?" Briefly, the giant octopus glanced at him. "You're probably could reach those stars If you tried." Raising his eyebrow slightly, Squidward paused and, tilted his head upwards. With Squilliam doing the same. "Care to enlighten me?" Squidward replied as he lowers his head back down, frowning. "Or is this another one of your taunts about my hei-"

"In a way, yes-'chuckles'-but I thought I could share a friendly chat with my favorite cephalopod. Besides, you did save my life after all so, what do you say we call-a truce?" Squidward gazed at his archrival curiously now as he's smiling, his arms were held out in both directions with his unibrow raised.


	3. Chapter 3

Bringing him closer Squidward simply gazed at him with wide curious eyes. "A truce? You're wanting a truce? You?" Squilliam nodded, placing his arms back down as he waits for Squidward's answer. "Will you accept my offer Squiddy?" In the meantime he's curiously studying the suction cup beside him. "So, what's the catch Squil?"

"Catch? Why, none what so ever Squiddy ole pal. Like I said before, you saved me and-"

"And? And what?" Squidward cut him off, the wealthy octopus then slowly stood himself up and leans against his large drooping nose. "Well. I've been thinking, just how are we gonna get you back to normal." Squilliam then pats his nose while Squidward's eyes narrow. "It's plainly obvious to me that you'll be stuck as a lumbering giant unless something's done." Relaxing his arm on his rival's nose now, Squilliam glanced up into Squidward's huge amber eyes while studying his reflection in them. "And considering you saved me earlier, I've decided that I'm going to help you get back to normal."

"And, just how are you going to do that? Squilliam?" The wealthy millionaire's attention now was on his rival's enormous palm, he looked to be deep in concentration as he didn't speak or reply to Squidward for few minutes. "Squilliam? The rich octopus kneels, running his tentacle over the deep crevices of lines running along the surface of his snarky rival's leathery skin. "What, may I ask are you doing?" Paying no attention to Squidward's slight twitchy movements, ignoring how these movements made his body sway when being brought closer towards the puzzled cashier. "Ah! Isn't this interesting!"

"Er...what's so fascinating about my dry, cracked palm?"

'Cracked is Right!' In comparison, his own palms were softer, cushy while Squidward's weren't. Sure, they weren't soft, but they weren't rough as say, sandpaper. Nothing a bit of lotion wouldn't fix. Their dilemma though, Squidward would need a great truck loads of lotion just to cover every square foot of his gargantuan sized palm. Being that he's very wealthy, perhaps he could arrange this, to pay his debt to the other. Not just for saving him, but also for kinda being the one responsible for the other's growth spurt. As of now, he figured he'd ignore this for the time being. At least his rival's palm wasn't sweaty. Facing him now, catching his wide amber eyes, Squilliam quizzically tilts his head. "Why, many things! Everyone's lines are unique. No one's ever has the same lines."

"Pft! Everyone Knows that! Must I ask, again, what you're Doing?"  
"I'm *Reading* the lines on your Palm, Nitwit!"

"Reading my lines?" Squilliam nods. "How Exactly? Is my Palm, something like say... a Book? That you can Read?"

"In a way, yes. Your hands can tell you a great deal about yourself, as well as your past, present, and future."

"Where did you get all this from?" Without really moving, he glanced at Squidward. "What's that? Squidward Tentacles Never had his palm read? He inquired, baffled, in which Squidward gave him his, I'm not playing your games sort of look. Taking his expression as an definite answer. "Wha-why would I? What Possible gain comes from it?" Squilliam carried on. "Well, allow me to enlighten you!" Standing, the rich octopus simply walks across the cashier's palm, perfectly balanced even with Squidward's twitchy movements. Squidward started to hate how the other moved about on his tentacle, hating how these tiny suction-cups managed to tickle someone of his size. Finally, Squilliam paused to kneel near the suction-cups. "Ah, Impressive."

"Huh? What's Impressive?"

"Your Lifeline! Here!" Squilliam points with his tentacle, tracing the crevice of the skin just barely with the tip. "Dare I say, it looks promising. It's a good length, which means you'll know success later down the line." The rich octopus begins snickering. "Line. G-get it? Be-because I'm explaining your Life...*Line!*" Squilliam points towards the crevice again, nose crinkling as he starts to laugh. "Now I'm almost Positive, you're making This up!" Clutching at his sides due to laughing a bit to much at his supposedly funny joke, Squilliam straightened himself in time to see Squidward's glaring stare. "Me? Making stuff Up? I Would never!"

"You obviously have to be! How am I meant to So-call Succeed?" Squilliam plops himself back down on his rival's leathery cushy palm with his usual grin that always frustrated the other. "Well, when I figure out how to get you back down to size, I'll Gladly show you! Now... Stretching, he leans back. ...Take me home, Chauffeur Tentacles!"

Squilliam rests comfortably on Squidward's tentacle, his own tentacles tucked behind his head while his legs were outstretched, almost drifting off before the thunderous voice of the cashier snaps him out of his daze. "Alright, get up... Squidward said, concealing his smile behind his free tentacle. Secretly he had enjoyed their previous moment, The wealthy octopus had spent acouple minute reading his palm, Squidward didn't know why he did. In the process though, he predicted success in his future. Squidward wasn't sure if Squilliam meant it or was just messing with him. Nevertheless, he enjoyed it either way. "We are?" Getting out of his comfortable position, the rich octopus stood and glanced behind him. "Already?"

"Yeah, your escort service has expired." If Squidward didn't know any better, he would've swore Squilliam was disappointed. "Well, you cover alot of distance, 'yawn' don't ya Squiddy?" Yet, he ended with a yawn, so he appeared tired to. "I'm not ashamed to admitting however, that your tentacle is just as cozy as my bed... He adds, breaking out of his yawn while turning. His feet sticking, and unsticking to his skin made his hand twitch slightly, yet the millionaire continued on as if not noticing. ...I wouldn't have mind sleeping on-..."

"Not when your Own bed's only a few feet ahead."

Squidward interrupts in a dry tone, somewhat flattened that his usual picky, spoiled rival thought his palm worthy to be his bed. "Now... Squidward clears his throat. ...where do you want me to sit you down? Your balcony?" Stretching, Squilliam shook his head. "Oh, just let me down here."

"Are you sure you don't want to be closer?"

"I'm right where I need to be, which I'm guessing is the door. You must've stepped over the gate, correct." Glancing over his shoulder, he sees the other nod his head, eyes rolling afterwards. "Of course! I'm not stepping on Your gate, your Gate has Spikes! Or did you forget?"

"Just the Gate, has spikes. Not the fence." 'yawning' Deciding to drop the subject, Squidward deeply sighed. "So, you're sure you want to be dropped off here?" Squilliam mirrors Squidward's sigh. "Not literally. But yes, I'm sure." Ignoring his comment, Squidward slowly slouched to his knees, being cautious about how steady his tentacle when lowering his cargo who lazily slid off his palm, almost reluctantly to. Squidward supports him with his tentacle's tip to his back once the other had slipped off and stumbled on stiff tired legs. When managing to stand on his own he briefly patted the other's tentacle while saying. "Th-thank you, Squid. I'll be good from here." Nodding, Squidward replied with. Er...If you don't mind, I'll just stay here till you're inside. Um, wave from the balcony so I know you-..."

"Oh, you're too Kind Squiddy!" The usual snarky cashier tries hiding embarrassment. Rather he noticed or not, Squilliam doesn't remark. "I also suspect you're tired to so I'll be-..."

"Very tired. Still just, don't rush. Or you'll fall over." 'Maybe I should just Pick him up again and put him on his balcony!'

"Nighty night, ole chum. Thanks for the escort." Waving his hand, the wealthy octopus turns towards his house. Squidward stayed, just as he said he would, so to be sure that he made it inside. Squilliam walks a good seven steps before pausing and turning back to Squidward who, leans over, expecting the spoiled octopus had changed his mind and wanted to be placed on the balcony. Instead, he had a few parting words left. "Look Squid, I don't know why my spray made you grow this way... Squidward raised an eyebrow out of curiosity. ...I will though, find a solution in shrinking you back aga-..."

"Squill we-we'll discuss this over tomorrow. Now, go. Before I decide to pick you up again." As if there's agreement, the rich octopus turns back towards his house, once he saw movement from inside the... bedroom, he guessed... Squidward rosed up and left. Hearing the deep squelching of suction-cupped feet, the wealthy octopus stepped out of his bedroom, watching the giant cashier step over the gate before returning to his bed.


End file.
